part II

On the first page of our story the future seemed so bright. Then this thing turned out so evil. I don`t know why i`m still surprised. Even angels have their wicked schemes, and you take that to new extremes. But you`ll always be my hero. Even though you`ve lost your mind. Just going to stand there and watch me burn? but that`s all right because I like teh way it hurts. Just going to stand there there and hear me cry? But that`s all right because i love the way you lie. Now there`s gravel in our voices. Glass is shattered from the fight. In this tug of war, you`ll alwas win. Even when i`m right, because you feed me fables from your hand. With violent words and empty threats. and it`s sick that all these battles are what keeps me satisfied. So maybe i`m a masochist. I try to run, but i don`t ever want to leave till the walls are going up in smoke with all our memories. This morning, I wake, a sunray hits my face. Smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction. Hush baby, speak softly, tell me i`ll be sorry that you push me into the coffee table last night. So I can push you off me. Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me. I`ll run out the room and you`ll follow me like a lost puppy. You`ll say: Baby, without you, i`m nothing, i`m so lost, hug me. Then tell me how ugly I am, but that you`ll always love me. Then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the destructive path that we`re on two psychopaths but we know that no matter how many knives we put in each other`s backs that we`ll always have each other`s backs, because we`re that lucky. Together, we move mountains, let`s not make mountains out of molehills. I hite you twice, yeah, who's counting? You have hit me three times, i`m starting to lose count. But toghether, we`ll live forever, we found the youth fountain. Our love is crazy, we`re nuts, but you refuse counsilling. You said this house is too huge, that if i move out you`ll burn all two thousand square feet of it to the ground, ain`t shit I can do about it. 

fuck you

I don't think he understands the sacrifices i made. maybe if he had acted right i would have stayed. but i've already wasted half my time. i would have laid down and died for you. i no longer cry for you, no more pain. you took me for granted. took my heart and ran it straight into the planet, into the dirt. i can no longer stand it, now my respect, i demand it. im going to take control of this relationship. command it. and i'm going to be the boss of ou now goddammit. and what i mean is that, i will no longer let you control me. So you better hear me out, this much you owe me. I gave up m life for you. Totally devoted to you. why i've stayed. Failthful all the way. This is how i fucking get repaid? Look at how i get dressed, fucking baggy sweats. Go to work a mess. Always in a rush to get back to you. I haven't heard you yet. not even once say you appreciate me. I deserve respect. i've done my best to give you nothing less then perfectness and i know that if i end this, i'll no longer have nothing left. but you keep treating me like a staircase. It's time to fucking step. and i won't be coming back. so don't hold your fucking breathe. you know what you've done. no need to go in depth. i told you, you'd be sorry if i fucking left. I laughed while you wept. how does it feel now? yeah, funny ain't it. you neglected me. did me a favor. Let all my spirit free youu've said. got a special place for you in m heart that's i've kept. it's unfortunate but it's too late for the other side. caught in a chase. 25 to life. i feel like when i bend over backwards for you, all you do is laugh, cuz that ain't good enough. You expect me to fold myself in half till i snap. Don't think i'm loyal? Don't i give you enough of my time? you don't think so do you? jelous when i spend time with the boys. Why i'm with you still. man i don't know. but tonight i'm leaving you. go find someone else and make them famous, and take their freedom away like you did to me. treat them like you don't need them. and they aren't worthy of you. feed them the same shit that you made me eat. I'm moving on. Forget ou. oh now i'm special. i didn't feel special when i was with you. all i ever felt was this: helplessness. Imprisoned b a selfish bitch. chew me up and spit me out. i fell for this so man times. its ridiculous. and still i stick with this. i'm sick of this. but in my sickness and addiction. your addictive as they get. Evil as they come. Vindictive as they make them. My friends keep asking me why i can't just walk away from you. I'm addicted to the pain, the stress, the drama. I'm drawn to it. So i guess i'm a mess cursed and blessed. but this time i'm not changing my mind. I'm climbing out this abyss. Your screaming as i walk out that i'll be missed. but when you spoke of people who meant the most to you, you left me off your list. fuck you, i'm leaving you. my life sentence is served bitch.

can't breathe..

it feels so different being here, i was so used to being next to you. life for me is not the same, there's no one to talk to. i don't know wh i let it go too far, starting over it's to hard. seems like everywhere i try to go i keep thinking of you. I just had a wake up call wishing that i never let you fall. baby you are not to blame at all when i'm the one that pushed you away. maybe if ou knew i cared you would of never went nowhere. How do i breathe without you here by my side? how will i see when your love brought me to the light? where do i go when your hearts where i lay my head?. When you're not with me. how do i breathe? boy i'm losing my mind, yes i made a mistake. I thought that ou would be minde, guess the joke was on me. I miss you so bad i can't sleep. i wish i knew where you could be. another girl is replacing me, got this can't be happening!! i should've brought my love home. and baby i ain't perfect, you know. the grind has got a tight hold, come back to me. cause boy ou made it hard to breathe when you're not with me.

let it burnn..

I don`t understand why. See, it`s burning me to hold onto this. I know this is something i gotta do. But that don`t mean i want to. What i`m tring to say is that i love you, i just feel like this is coming to an end. And it`s better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you. I gotta let it burn. It`s going to burn for me to say this but it`s coming from the heart. It`s been a long time coming. But we fell apart. I reall want to work this out. But i don't think you`re going to change. I do, but you don`t. I think it`s best we go our separate ways. Tell me why i should stay in this relationship when i`m hurting baby? I ain`t happy baby. Plus there`s so many other things i gotta deal with. I think that you should let it burn. When our feeling ain`t the same and your bod don`t want to. but you know ou gotta let it go cuz the party ain`t jumpin like it used to. Even though this might ruin you. Gotta let it burn. Deep down you know it`s best for yourself, but you hate the thought of him being with someone else. You know that it`s over. We know that it`s through. Sending pages I ain`t supposed to. I have somebody here but i want you. Cause the feeling ain`t teh same by myself. Callin him your name. Guys tell me do you understand? Now all my girls do you feel my pain?. It`s the way i feel. I know i made a mistake, now it`s too late. I know he isn't coming back. What i gotta do now to get him back? I don`t know what i`m going to do without youu. You`ve been gone for too long. It`s been fifty-leven days, um-teen hours imma be burnin' till you return. I`m twisted cuz one side of me is telling me that i need to move on. On the other side i want to break down and cry
                                                                       So many days, so many hours. I`m still burnin` till you return 

I still remember the look on your face. Lit through the darkness at 1:58. The words that you whispered for just us to know. You told me that you loved me. So why did you go away? I do recall now the smell of the rain, fresh on hte pavement. I ran off the plane that July 9th. The beat of your heart it jumps through your shirt. I can still feel your arms. And i'll just go sil on the floor. Wearing your clothes. All that I know is, I don't know how to be something you miss. Never thought we'd have a last kiss. Never imagined we'd end like this. Your name, forever the name on my lips. I do remember the swing in your step. The life of the party, you're showing off again. And I roll my eyes and then you pull me in. I'm not much for dancing but for you I did. Because I love your handshake meeting my father. I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets. How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something. There's not a day when I don't miss those rude interruptions. So I watch your life in pictures like I used to  watch you sleep. And I feel you froget me like I used to feel you breathe. And I keep up with our lold friends just to ask them how you are. Hope it's nice where you are. And I hope the sun shines, and it's a beautiful day. And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed. You can plan for a change in the weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind. Never thought we'd have a last kiss. Never imagined we'd end up like this. Your name, forever the name on my lips.

I`ll miss you most

I miss you when something really good happens because you're the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me because you're the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because I know you are the one who made my laughter grow and my tears disappear I miss you all the time but I miss you the most when I lie awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other, because those were some of the best and most memorable times of my life </3

My heart is a dancer beating like a disco drum

Feel the adrenaline moving under my skin. It`s an addiction, such an eruption. Sound is my remedy. Feeding me energy. Music is all I need. Baby I just wanna dance. I don`t really care, I just wanna dance. She`s a mean and crazy dita. Disco diva.. and you wonder: Who`s that chick? Too cold for you to keep her. Too hot for you to leave her. Back on the dancefloor. Bad enough to take me home. Base kicking so hard. Blazing through my beating heart. French kissing on the floor. Heart is beating hardcore. Everybody`s getting a little tipsy, on the crazy juice. This will und up in the news. Ultrasexual. The night has got me love sprong. I won`t stop until the sun is up. My heart is a dancer beating like a disco drum..